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Well, we were both right. So the real question is: if they are out there, how do you find the good ones? In fact, some of the most seemingly innocuous places are also the best places: the grocery store, the coffee shop, the library, you name it.

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This may not be politically correct, but men and women are different. Very different when it comes to communication. Men and women process information differently.

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So, knowing all this, how do you go ahead, express your feelings and needs in a way that he would be more than willing to hear you?

10 easy ways to get his attention

Your best bet is to understand it, and expect it. After all, you may have felt so blamed for so much, growing up. Reading your article and lot of related topics I have learned how to better communicate. And then what happens? I am trying to resolve an issue with my boyfriend of 4 years. Which is usually something like anger, hurt, sadness, guilt, lonely and scared.

If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then our Facebook Group. If that sounds weird…I know how you feel. You should always take responsibility. Something like this:. You want security. An old issue has come up, where he took an illegal drug DMT once 2 years ago. We have fabulous sex, go out, cook for one another. Part of me feels angry that you could do that to this woman, but the other part of me feels really sorry for you, please try and work on loving yourself.

I asked to talk about this and he said he … ». I was wondering about the same thing as well! And, if you do this in a genuine way, he will return your gesture by being willing to understand you, too.

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And it does work! Yes, yes, everything about this reply is yes. Just like men try to push for sexand they naturally want sex, you want to know where on earth a relationship is going!

How to talk to a man in a way that won’t make him pull away and go cold

It brought much pain and tears welled up. As I say in my program Understanding Men: understanding a man first is one of the quickest ways to stop wasting precious time and youthful years. Hey Rene, i just read the article, and i am planning to change my views in how i should talk to my man. That rarely ever comes. Because they hear your words and feel that you are complaining, or criticizing, or blaming.

Anger is anger. And not to mention how much at fault you feel for your past relationships going wrong. The truth still lies in your actual feelings at the moment. We were fighting n I lost control of my emotions and flipped out pretty bad. And you can bet your knickers that your girlfriends do not understand men as well as you do after you take the program. As this is the way to get men to line up outside your door, waiting to date you. Constantly talking until a man understands is a natural desire of women, but rarely works in creating a deep bond with your man.

And yes. Once in a secure committed relationship, no problem to express myself. No matter how much of an asshole he is — no matter how COLD that look on his face isit still is not because you have done the wrong thing or because he hates you. Wait until you really feel it inside before you say it. I really learn a lot with your blogpost and your FB. Having anxious attachment expressing my feelings, my needs and my boundaries is difficult.

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Is your man serious about committing to you? I just tried this and it worked. That makes expressing your feelings and needs to a man difficult.

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I love him even more right … ». When you actually do this, he just shuts down even more. Our ancestors needed security for us to be here today. Thank you for this, I feel better. How can we express our feelings more wisely, when it is caused directly from the man?

If he can say that, if he can have that viewpoint after everything he went through, so can you.

I asked a guy where to meet good men, and this is what he said

It took a while but now I can say I am almost secure in expressing myself? Share your thoughts on this article with me below. Make it a policy that there is no pointing fingers, or at yours. Why is it frowned upon at the mere idea of a man being more emotionally mature? A way to trick him in to listening to me talk about everything bad he has done!

8 ways to communicate with men

I googled this topic and calmly said the words and believed them. And you truly have to believe that with your soul. Does that sounds true to you? Where I struggle: the early dating … ». Or is this simple question overestimated to be worthy of a hundred-odd-dollar coaching fee? And being the man that he is, he will often respond to you with truths and solutions.

This past week on the last day i saw him, he was twisting everything I said. You can read it here. With my relatives, co-workers…. He already chose 1. Though I still have the issue about timing. He was so proud of being drug-free. Do the right thing and get out.

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It just means he has this bias in communication. This is not your fault. I love everything talked about here but how about the MEN taking the time to understand the women they claim to love? Together with her husband D.

So insightful! Would you deliberately accuse yourself of committing a crime that you never committed? You are meeting him where he is at, as a man. Hi Renee, Thanks for your advice. A little bit of background is important, he grew up with an very alcoholic mom who has since cleaned … ».

You make yourself so low value being with someone that is a not valuing you, and b not valuing his wife.

We’re here for you.

And the more blank and quiet he IS — the more your heart beats faster, the more angry and scared you get. I got the assurance I needed and feel much better. Thank you so much for your insight… I paraphrased your words to fit my my situation and emotions and it worked beautifully. Thank you so much.

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Smart women seek to appreciate and understand men first. Whatever it is, at least you get to feel more in control of your communications with him. I look forward to hearing from you. Because his masculine soul is built for problem solving, not feeling through and resonating with feelings. I think i never tried to understand him in this way before.

Expect that he will feel like pulling away from you and that he will feel criticized at least 3 out of 4 times you try to communicate with him. This is hard! Something you are not. They sure sought it out, and that biological NEED for a woman to seek out security is still there within you.

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We see one another once or twice a week and once on weekends. Fear is fear.

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He is built for a totally different thing than you are as a woman, even though you are both human. Even the last paragraph about marrying a Beta but settling for mere attraction in a man who will never give a shit how we feel.