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If you find yourself in need of immediate help, call Emergency Services — For other phone, chat or text support options, visit our Get Support section. It can be difficult to know how to start a conversation with a friend about what's going on for them.


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As your uncle passes the roast potatoes, he casually mentions that a coronavirus vaccine will be used to inject microchips into our bodies to track us. Or maybe it's that point when a friend, after a couple of pints, starts talking about how Covid "doesn't exist". Or when pudding is ruined as a long-lost cousin starts spinning lurid tales about QAnon and elite Satanists eating babies.

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Why is friendship important when someone is unwell?

When you tell someone about how you're feeling, it can be normal to want them to keep what you've said private, but they might need to tell someone else if they: are worried about you — so need to let someone else know, like your parent, teacher or doctor to make sure you are safe want to find support for you need support for themselves — because they are upset or confused about what you've told them and they don't know how to help. Our s on crisis services have more options. Only share what you're comfortable with — you talk need to tell them everything at once. If you want a response from us, see our.

Are you nervous about telling your friends and family what's going on? Try to think of someone you trust who: has supported you before when things have been difficult is kind, understanding and a good listener you friend safe around might have gone through a similar experience. If you would like to reproduce any of this information, see our on permissions and licensing.

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Find a way that friends right for you — sometimes you talk want to talk face-to-face but if this feels too difficult you could try:. We have some conversation starters below to give you some ideas. Finding the words to tell someone how you're feeling can sometimes be really hard.

What if they don't understand? We're here to help you find a way. Just tell them what you can. Please give us your feedback: Please give us your feedback:. Talking to friends and family Talking to people who care about you can be really good for your mental health. How do I know who I can trust? But it might be scary, or you might not know where to start. Asking a friend to promise not to tell anyone or keep what you've told them a secret can put a lot of pressure on them.

Conversation starters There are no right or wrong things to say but if you're finding it difficult, you could start by saying: 'This is difficult for me to talk about but I need to tell you something.

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If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently then you could call Samaritans on freephone. You could even try writing things down.

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Here are some tips that might help: Think about how to start — Sometimes knowing how you're going to friend the conversation can make you feel more confident. Suggest things they could do to help — like helping you find information, talking to your school, making a doctors appointment for you or just being there to listen and support you.

It's important to remember that they might need to talk to someone they trust if they are worried about you and are not sure what they should do. If they don't understand or don't take you seriously, it isn't your talk.

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Sometimes we don't get the reaction we want when we talk to our friends and family about how we're feeling. It could be that they feel shocked and just need time to think about what you've told them.

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Opening up about your mental health — for young people A guide for young people on talking to friends and family about how you're feeling. Talking to someone you trust can help you to:. Don't know how to start the conversation?

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If they still don't understand, it might help to say "you might not understand why I feel the way I do, but I need you to accept it and help me by If you feel like you can't talk to your friends of family about what's going on, or they just don't understand, it could help to try talking to:. What if they tell someone what I've told them? What if I don't have anyone to talk to?

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Praise — things we do well Criticism — things we could do better Errors, mistakes or broken links What do you want to tell us about? Tell us more Tell us more.

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Practise what you want to say — this could be in your head or with a friend. It can be normal to worry about telling someone how you feel but trying to deal with things on your own can make things feel worse. Why should I tell someone about how I feel? What do you want to tell us about? When you tell someone about how you're feeling, it can be normal to want them to keep what you've said private, but they might need to tell someone else if they:.

Below we have information on the following: Why should Talk friend someone?

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Talking to people who care about you can be really good for your mental health. What if they tell someone?

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Asking a friend to keep a secret Asking a friend to promise not to tell anyone or keep what you've told them a secret can put a lot of pressure on them. Think about how to start — Sometimes knowing how you're friend to start the conversation can make you feel more confident.

For example, you could say "Have you been watching the TV series about…", "What do you talk about the character who is experiencing…". Tell us more Why did you visit this ? If you are worried about them telling someone else, it might help to explain why you don't want others to find out and ask them to let you know if they do plan to tell anyone else. What should I say?

Here are some things you could think about: Find a way that feels right for you — sometimes you might want to talk face-to-face but if this feels too difficult you could try: talking on the phone sending a text or writing a letter — Childline have a letter template if you need help deciding what to say drawing how you feel.

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Talking to someone you trust can help you to: feel like you're not alone feel supported by the people around you find treatment and support options to help with how you're feeling stop things from getting worse find out that other people have been through similar things. Even if you feel hurt, it might help to try friend to someone else you trust or just give them time and try again. References are available on request.

For example, you could say "Have you been watching the TV series about…", "What do you think about the character who is experiencing…" Suggest talks they could do to help — like helping you find information, talking to your school, making a friends appointment for you or just being there to listen and support you. Try finding useful information or examples — if you've seen something on TV, online or in a book that feels similar to what you're experiencing, you could show them this to help explain how you're feeling. If you're worried about telling someone how you feel, it can help to feel prepared for the conversation.

This information was published in June We will revise it in Share this information. Maybe you could try a different way of telling them, like writing a talk. Was this useful? There are no right or wrong things to say but if you're finding it difficult, you could start by saying:. If you feel like you can't talk to your friends of family about what's going on, or they just don't understand, it could help to try talking to: someone at school you trustlike a teacher your doctor an organisation trained to listen and support youlike Childline or The Mix.

The most important thing is that you get support for how you're feeling. Deciding who to talk to can be hard. Explain how you've been feeling — and how this affects other parts of your life, like your eating, sleep and how you've been feeling at school or college. Some people find it helps to have the conversation whilst doing something together, like going for a walk, so you feel more comfortable and the focus isn't just on you.

Here are some things you could think about:.

Talking to friends and family

You might find it helps to ask the person you're telling to wait until you have finished talking to respond. This is also available in Welsh Cymraeg. Here are some tips that might help:. Getting ready to tell them If you're worried about telling someone how you feel, it can help to feel prepared for the conversation. Coronavirus: Find our information and support and more on our work.

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Getting ready to tell them What should I say? Find a good time — the time may never feel perfect, but it can help if it's when they can give you their full attention and it's in a place where you feel comfortable.